The Place In The Grove Presents

Teaching Responsibility & 6 Steps to Problem-Solving

The Goal R=TLC Responsibility = Thinking Loving Confidence
The Method TLC Tender Loving Care

R= the ability to respond appropriately given the needs of a situation. Every day, parents encourage or discourage the development of qualities that will turn their children into responsible adults. Your children will be able to respond appropriately when they have developed these three essential character qualities; rational thinking, the capacity for loving, and sufficient confidence to act on their beliefs. These three qualities are included in our formula R=TLC. Built into this formula is also a way of understanding the best method for reaching the goal, which is tender loving care or TLC.

How can parents know when their children are grown up? What are we striving to achieve when we say that we are raising children? One good determination is that when children can accept full responsibility for the consequences of their choices, they are “grown up.” Responsibility means the ability to respond appropriately given the needs of the situation. Every day, parents encourage or discourage the development of qualities that will turn their children into responsible adults.

Your children will be able to respond appropriately when they have developed these three essential character qualities:

* Rational Thinking
* The capacity for loving
* and sufficient confidence to act on their beliefs.

Thinking

The “T” stands for thinking. This is the ability to use one’s mind to process information logically, to analyze situations and to form conclusions. A person with strong thinking skills can distinguish between fact and fiction and demonstrates common sense. Good thinking implies the ability to make wise or sound judgments. The more people strengthen their ability to reason and to sole problems, the better they function. Intelligence isn’t only acquired from our parents: it’s developed and given the chance to manifest mostly by what a person has learned and experienced. Attentive parents routinely teach children how to think by involving them in problem-solving activities.

Loving

The “L” in the formula stands for loving. Loving describes a way of being with oneself and others. It means fully accepting someone for who they are as a person, it doesn’t mean accepting that person’s behaior without conditions. Loving means treating others with respect and compassion, and valuing and promoting what’s in their best interest. The crucial first stage in helping children develop into loving people is to encourage them to love themselves. It’s only from a foundation of self-love that children mature to a place where they are capable of having compassion for others.

Confidence

The “C” stands for the courage to take action, stand up for oneself and to make independent decision. It means being self-reliant and trusting one’s own judgment. Just being a good thinker and a loving person does not make someone a responsible individual. By showing approval when your children act constructively, you can create an atmosphere in which your children can build confidence.

Six Steps to Problem-Solving

Children can develop strong thinking skills by participating in family problem-solving activities. All problem-solving involves the following six steps;

1. Identifying the problem; The first step toward resolving a problem is recognizing that it exists.
2. Understand the problem: Problems often have parts or specific details that need to be addressed.
3. Agree upon a solution: Everyone involved in the problem-solving process participates in brainstorming possible
Solutions and in choosing the best one.
4. Make a plan: A plan of action is then agreed upon, determining who is going to do what and when.
5. Follow the plan: Everyone does his or her part based on the agreements made for the plan of action.
6. Evaluate the results: This is the time to evaluate whether the problem was fully solved, and to determine whether
more work is required at any of the first 5 steps.

Solving problems together can be a rewarding and joyful experience, a chance to grow
and deepen family relationships and an important way to reduce family conflict.

Submitted by
Patricia Lessard
Certified Breakthrough Parenting Instructor

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