The Place In The Grove Presents

Patricia Lessard:

Myth #1: Punishment and discipline are the same thing.

People often use the terms interchangeably, but they are two very
different concepts. Discipline means to teach. Punishment means to
cause emotional or physical pain. Punishment builds fear and leads
to avoidance of the punisher. Punishment focuses on what not to do.
Discipline teaches what to do. Parents need skills to become a
disciplinarian or teacher of their children, which will always
amount to showing them how to be responsible in their thoughts and
actions.

Patricia Lessard:

Myth #3: If parents don’t punish their children, someone else will
end up having to do it, such as the police.

Children who are taught self-discipline will not be easily
influenced to behave in inappropriate ways. Children who feel that
someone else is in control of their lives, such as an authoritarian
parent, will expect to have someone else to tell them how to think,
feel and act. They haven’t built an internal point of reference for
deciding right from wrong, therefore, they can be easily influenced
to do what others tell them to do.

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This is important. What is key to bear in mind here is that
teaching children self-discipline may not always be the easiest
thing in the moment. Unless you have developed methods for
encouraging your child to arrive at healthy decisions, then its easy.

And they do exist. We’ll cover a few more Myths in the next lesson
or so, and then I’ll start pointing you in the direction of some
resources you can use to find peace in your family.

Patricia Lessard:

Myth #5: It is necessary to break a child’s willful rebelliousness
with punishment.

Pain is part of life; it can’t be helped. While pain is part of
life, it doesn’t mean that pain has to be a way of life, as it is
in so many families. Children are much more motivated to
participate in their families by getting along with each other,
than they are motivated to be rebellious. It is the parent’s
responsibility to show children how to get their needs met through
cooperation, rather than through struggle.

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A big word enters the picture today. Responsibility. This is
important to consider over the next few days. By completing this
e-course you are now empowered and aware which also invites you
into responsibility.

Over the next few days be thinking about what it means to be
responsible for teaching our children to get their needs met. This
means teaching them to have certain kinds of conversations.

One of my students offered, “I didn’t really understand why meals
were so difficult until I took on the challenge of getting to
bottom of it. What I didn’t realize was that my son didn’t feel
comfortable asking for different food at breakfast. When I made
that space things changed.”

Most people don’t know that children want to engage in responsible
decision making, if only given the chance.

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Patricia Lessard:

Try to anticipate and understand your children’s feelings, and do your best to help them feel safe, loved and secure. help your children express their feelings, children of any age cope better when they feel they are being heard. seperate your spousal relationship (which has ended) from your role as parents. Protect yo……ur children from conflict, help your children keep a close relationship with both parents.See More

Patricia Lessard:

Myth #7: The best way to parent is to do what our own parents did.
It can’t be so bad, after all, “look at how well I turned out.”

It isn’t likely that your parents were trained in the best that is
known about how to raise children. Abusive and neglectful practices
have been passed down for centuries. You don’t know how well you
would have turned out if your parents had practiced today’s
superior methods of raising children.

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And that is why continuing to educate ourselves and grow as people
is just as important as it is for us to learn and stretch as
parents. Future generations are relying on us to raise children who
can be responsible in the new age.

Breakthrough Parenting does that.

I look forward to sharing more of that with you at: